moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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