Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize