I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize