He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
