even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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