I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize