She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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