I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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