What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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