and you said cock pushups were impossible
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
