oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
