hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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