this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
