I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
