So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
