my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
