Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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