If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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