So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
