you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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