I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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