What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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