I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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