Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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