What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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