i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
