Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize