3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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