i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
