And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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