...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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