I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I met the friendliest cop last night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
