Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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