just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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