The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
