i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
