I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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