Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sarcasm needs its own font
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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