We won't sleep together?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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