I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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