He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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