I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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