Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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