i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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