Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
