I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
