thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
