I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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