i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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