i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
