An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
