omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
