I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
