we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's always time for handjobs
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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