I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
