I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
do nipples grow back?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
