We named our party play list daddy issues
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
