clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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