Dual....:-)
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
