We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
