My nipple is on Facebook.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You can't special order awesome
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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