these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
