Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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